I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
