Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
