Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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