I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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