He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize