BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
