I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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