Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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