I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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