I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
