Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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