quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
