Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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