just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
