Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
