Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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