Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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