I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
