i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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