im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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