Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize