From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
