I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
