dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
