Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
