This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize