and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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