I think im going to throw up on grandma
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we're making bets on your personal life
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
