The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
