I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
