absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
