The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
