well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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