is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
