At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
