my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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