I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
