Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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