please come you make the beer taste better
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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