and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
