just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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