used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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