They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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