thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
