you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize