Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
