I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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