If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
