Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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