I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
