i was rollin on her like bob the builder
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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