shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
