If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
