community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
