He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
