Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
This toilet bowl is my home.
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